I'm gonna get through this...I just know it

I better not get isolated now, I can feel myself wanting to do nothing and go no where these days and I know that pattern all so well, and I don't want to go into it, but I sense that I've already begun going into it. No one reads my blogs or really pays much attention to it so I'm just going to blow some steam...

Last September my husband Irvin broke his wrist from a horse accident that could have been very preventable. None the less he wore his cast for almost 10 weeks. What frost my but is that I am a student at our churches bible college and unemployed. Every dollar that came into our house is from Irvin's work. Well, to say the lest during the time the cast was on he couldn't work because he needs two good wrists to work not one. The government only gave us about a 1/3rd of what he brought home. Yeah, not nice. In my classes there was a Dave Ramsey course which came at the right time...we learnt how to budget, almost to late because we where already in a pinch. Living life on the red side of the bank account is not fun...we've been doing it since October of '09. I am just tired of all this. After watching the course with Irvin we've come to an agreement to get on top of things and are much more unified then before with our finances. It just hard to get back on top of things when we've been in the hole for so long. Sometimes I just want to hid in my room and lock the door. I know this is wrong thinking and it gets us no where but at lest we wouldn't be spending money then. Irvin has only worked 4 days in January...today is the 18th. Because he didn't work for 10 weeks in the fall we are playing catch up on everything and now he's been home for two weeks. Argh...he's boss is very good but I don't understand him sometimes. He too is being pressed on every side as well as the other employee's. I wish I could go and work, I am able...but God hasn't said for me to leave my studies...this is a real time of testing of the faith time. I really want to learn what God has for us to learn during this time so we don't have to go through it later. I know that God sees the big picture, and I'm gonna put my trust in Him and continue to love Him and worship Him in this storm.